Productive Obsession March 5, 2014

More than a year ago, I happened to be up early on a Sunday morning and heard an interview on the radio with Eric Maisel, a local psychologist and writer.  Maisel promoted the idea of “productive obsession”, the process of identifying and striving for a tangible albeit slightly out-of-reach goal that celebrates both journey and product.  I thought, “That is it!  That is exactly what I am seeking in retirement. That is me!”  And then a few months ago, I happened to read something about mush dogs, born to run, or dogs with other tasks, born to work.  Again there was the epiphany of self-recognition.  For now, I’ll put aside the disconcerting issue of how weird this is or the questions of why I’m wired this way and whether I could ever simply “be”.  Rather, these musings reinforced my desire to pursue something demanding and compelling, something with a productive output to make me really feel alive, useful, engaged, and happy.

Indeed, homing in on my life’s next productive obsession is the overriding task for this year.  I’ve come to realize that the act of identifying my next productive obsession has almost reached the level of productive obsession itself!  Why is this so hard?

Time is closing in and there are so many directions to contemplate!  Remember the Daruma doll?  Well, I actually now have three Daruma dolls; Cathy my coach had to buy extras!  One doll was for the opera chorus; the second is dedicated to getting published my manuscript on splicing (an actual product that has yet to see the light of day); and the third, just labeled on Sunday, is pursuing architecture, starting with a three-year masters in architecture program.  Then there are a bunch of ideas that haven’t yet reached the level of Daruma doll, such as teaching or political action or even working again on a genetics project. 

I happened to be at a little reception last night with my friend and colleague Barbara, and she asked about my music classes at College of Marin.  I excitedly told her what I was learning about music theory and structure of compositions.  But I said, “I have no idea where I am going with all of this.”  And she countered, “Does it matter?”   Ah, I wonder!