Tuesday, April 28, 2015

The Kitchen at Seder April 5, 2015

I met my late husband Roy in 1990, and for these past 25 years, more or less, I have enjoyed spending the Seder with his closest friends and their families.  Seder happens at Howard and Carol’s home, on Euclid Avenue in the Berkeley hills.  We arrive between 5 and 5:30, Earl and Beverly from Mill Valley, Jeff and Julie from Davis, me from San Francisco, and Sheldon and Nikki now transplanted to Bethesda MD.  The next generation, and even the next-next generation, come too.  

Roy has been dead almost 18 years, Annie is asunder, and this year I arrive alone.  All the other marriages and children are intact, as is the bond I feel for all of them.

Sitting around an enormous ring of beautifully set tables, we make it through the Haggadah, followed by a feast that Carol has prepared, each year’s matzo ball soup smoother and more delectable than the last.  Each of us has contributed a dish of spring bounty – perfectly cooked asparagus with a lemony sauce, salads with edible flowers, rhubarb crumble.  The sung Dayenu is so off-key that I tear up in laughter.  Every year, it is the same.

I slip into the kitchen to help keep up with the rounds of dirty dishes, and that’s where the real conversation happens, especially with Carol, Nikki, and Julie, whom I rarely see.  I don’t realize my loneliness until I am home again, and it makes being with them all the sweeter. Until next year…

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