It has been
a long time since I had a partner. My
husband Roy – Annie’s father - died eighteen and a half years ago, and though I
dipped my toe into the dating scene and became close to someone in the interim,
nothing took wings. Logistics certainly
got in the way: working full time in a fast-paced field combined with raising
my daughter alone left almost no time to meet people, much less to forge the
deep bond I would have liked.
In truth, I
was very hesitant to experiment with new relationships when I was raising
Annie. I had seen too many children whose
affections were jerked around by a string of boyfriends or who were ignored or
even abused by stepfathers. I reasoned
that Annie without a daddy, but with a fully engaged mom, was perhaps better
off than Annie with a series of losses.
Sadly, I have come to question that decision many times in the past few
years, as certainly Annie would have benefitted from the love of a father. I failed to provide her with that.
Now that
the high-pressure career is behind me, now that Annie has begun to settle into
her own life and work, and now that I appreciate how much I need to attend to
my own life, I have decided to revisit the partner question. My young friend and colleague Laurie
convinced me to try the online dating service OKCupid. She also coached another colleague, Lindsey,
who was getting a divorce, to do the same, and the three of us have been
comparing notes in the process. I think Lindsey
will surely find a partner, as she has jumped in with great enthusiasm. As for me, I’m just at the beginning,
enjoying the journey a bit more than I thought I would, and finding the humor
in our adventures.
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