The Toll March 20, 2020

Lately my friend Laura and I have been enjoying a bevy of explorative walks in the Bay Area, checking out architecture and other points of interest.  Last Thursday we were supposed to have done the final third of the San Francisco Crosstown Trail, a 17-mile pathway through parks and neighborhoods. 

But that morning I got a call from her, and her voice immediately told me that she was in a little distress.  Laura suffers from asthma and other lung issues, and she is well into an age demographic that is vulnerable to coronavirus infection.  I could sense some worry as she told me that she was not feeling so well and we needed to postpone. 

I hung up and found myself with an epiphany.  Someone I know, maybe even someone I love, may not survive this epidemic.  I went through the mental list of the people who seemed the most vulnerable to me – friends in their 70s and 80s, friends who had bouts with cancer, friends who work in the medical profession, mothers and fathers of friends.  Some of these people will undoubtedly get sick.  They will suffer and some may succumb. 

Of course, loss is inescapable.  People in our lives will leave us, unless we leave them first.  But thoughts of loss don’t come to the front of our mind unless something happens to jostle them into that place, and this is what coronavirus has done to me.

The thought of losing Laura frightens me.  As close neighbors, she and I raised our daughters almost as sisters.  We have shared all of our hopes and frustrations with each other over the 28 years of our friendship. 

Laura, get well and stay well.  The hike will still be in our future.